Seeta, a neighbor of mine, has an interesting piece of info to share with us. She is a good friend of her daughter, aged seven. But she used to be very upset when her daughter lied to her, though such instances were not too frequent.
My friend and I met and discussed about the ways of eliminating this problem. At first we traced the cause and found two possible roots:
- The fear - of being rejected by others and of being branded ‘bad’.
- The desire - to keep up the good will or an object and to prolong harmony.
We analyzed that Seeta had made efforts to convince the little girl that hiding a fact or lying about anything was ‘wrong’ and ‘unnecessary’. As such counseling had failed to work, we decided to chalk out a three-step-formula. Seeta was to tell her daughter to try it out the next time the girl was forced to twist facts:
The Three Steps:
- “Accept the mistake (because you not a coward).”
- “Say ‘Sorry’ (because you are an honest person).”
- “Take care not to repeat the mistake.”
When Seeta told this to her, the little one, naturally, wasn’t amused. We decided to wait and watch.
Two days later, the little girl came home from her school, sad and thoughtful, to narrate this happening:”Three children of our class are celebrating their birthdays today. We children excitedly looked forward to three chocolates. Our teacher had told us that we could have them after the classes, before going home. How happy we all were! But unexpectedly some ten chocolates were missing from one of the birthday kids’ box. The teacher was very upset that all children wouldn’t get equal share. At first, she was very kind and asked the ‘thief’ to come forward and return the stolen goodies. We all knew that the culprit must be Prithvi.But he didn’t tell the truth, he didn’t return the chocolates, either, till the end.
“The teacher then thought that the ‘thief’ perhaps had eaten the chocolates. So she offered to still pardon the wrong-doer if he would tell the truth. That never happened… At last two children’s sweets were distributed equally and we left for home… Hmm… (sigh)…
“Even as I was leaving the classroom, I really wished that Prithvi, too had a mother like you - He would’ve remebered the “Three Steps”. He could’ve been happy and we would’ve got those extra toffees, too…”
Wow! What a victory for the mother’s words! My friend was quick to correct her daughter: “It’s wonderful that you see what I meant the other day, but remember darling, you are accusing Prithvi as you suppose that he is the culprit. Perhaps he is not the one! Good that you learnt about the goodness in accepting the mistake. The next time you apply it yourself, I’ll love you all the more.”
That turned out to be a success formula for Seeta. I could see further more: Her daughter is going to be a magnanimous adult, loved by all and successful. After all, seeds sown and nurtured should bear fruits.